Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Beast Lives

Back in spring of 1998, I was driving home from work when I spotted this ugly old truck parked by the road with a cardboard sign saying $350. So I picked up my brother in law and went back to look at it. Any woman who lives in a rural area knows to take a guy to shop for these kind of things, because many of the "good-ol' boys" still don't believe in talking to gals unless it's for sinful purposes. We looked it over, started it up (with a screwdriver) and took it for a short test drive, while the owner was listening to an old fart who was haggling about the price. We waited until the old fart ran out of wind, and when the seller asked us if we had any questions, I smiled and asked if he had change for a hundred. The old fart stormed off and a few minutes later I was driving the beast home.
The beast was used daily until about the middle of 2000; my mother proclaimed the beast unworthy as a family vehicle and purchased a '92 F150 Supercab 4x4 for me. The beast was sent to my sister's farm to haul wood and turn to rust.
A few months ago, my brother in law was looking at a car that a friend had given me and offered to buy it for the motor. I told him that if he brought my beast back, he could have the car. A week later, the beast was unloaded in my yard.
The poor thing had 3 flat tires, no exhaust system, and the bed was rusted away, but I put fresh gas and a battery in it and it fired right up. My son and I worked on it; we removed the bed and replaced it with a flatbed. Rewired the tail lights. He welded a receiver hitch on the back, and we reworked the exhaust (in true redneck fashion) into dual straight stacks. Then we finished the exterior with a little touch up paint and a toolbox bolted to the bed for storage. We originally were trying to create "the ugliest truck in the county" but we actually found one that would outdo this one. One thing is certain: this is a true butch ride.
It still needs some work on the interior, but it is insured, tagged and roaring down the road.

6 comments:

  1. I love it. I had a 1985 Ranger that I got rid of a couple of years ago. I still kick myself over that one. Nice paintjob.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My sister had an '85 Ranger with a 5 speed; compared to this one, it drove like a luxury car. The paint job cost about $12 thanks to several cans of cheap spray paint.
    Given the local culture, I've had more than a few boys tell me it's so cool and they'd like to buy my truck. It's not for sale.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're right, that truck screams BUTCH!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would TOTALLY loose my virginity in the cab of that truck! (if I hadn't already misplaced it.)

    Whooa... you'd better be careful who you pick up in you're pickup Smokey.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rocket, does this mean I have to put the bench seat back in?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kewl truck-
    I saw a truck in WV that the cab had either rusted off or broken off and they built a new cab out of plywood. I saw them when they passed me on the highway doing about 70.

    ReplyDelete