Water

Over the past month or so, I have learned of several friends’ experiences in the water. I now know that Rusty is diligently working at prevailing over her fear of water and learning to swim. Brenda is also taking lessons. Diving at Possum Kingdom Lake gave Westie one hell of a headache, and Lucy was small but fearless when she was young. Minnie and others visited various places where rivers, lakes, and oceans were focal points.

My home is located in a water rich location. Lake Norfork and the Norfork River are a short distance to the east, and Bull Shoals Lake and the White River to the northwest. The Buffalo National River is less than an hour away. The area has been listed in outdoor magazines as among the best outdoor living and fishing in the nation. Forbes just put us on their list of top ten best trout fishing in North America. We boat, float, fish and swim almost all year. When time allows, I enjoy going down to drown some worms, going out on the boat, or taking the kids and their friends to jump off the bluffs. I have actually taken my kids swimming several times in November.

In the summer of 2006, I had a unique opportunity to go out on Lake Norfork. Our fire department was paged out for a boat fire, so I joined several of the guys down at the marina to take care of it. The boat that was on fire was about 100 yards from shore. Two other firefighters and myself had to stand in a boat in full turnout gear to be ferried out to the fire, grab it with pike poles and drag it to where our hoses could reach the flames. There were a few things wrong with this scenario. First, turnouts weigh about 40 pounds- four adults plus an additional 120 pounds standing in a small fiberglass boat. Second, we grabbed short pikes; they are only 8 foot long, which put the flaming floater much closer to our ride than we liked. Most importantly, from my viewpoint, there was no life jacket within my reach. Unfortunately, like Rusty, I do not swim. I am not really afraid of the water, but I have never had any desire to learn how to swim. I still don’t. So why I hauled my ass into a boat without a life jacket is beyond me. We managed to get the boat within a few feet of shore, doused the flames, and then dragged what was left of it onto the shore. This was accomplished with typical firefighter bravado and dumb luck.

Since then, I have taken classes in water rescue and learned that structure fire turnouts should never be worn on or near water as they will soak up to triple their weight. If somebody was on the boat, our job should be to get them out; otherwise, we should just sit back and watch it burn.

The Beast Lives

Back in spring of 1998, I was driving home from work when I spotted this ugly old truck parked by the road with a cardboard sign saying $350. So I picked up my brother in law and went back to look at it. Any woman who lives in a rural area knows to take a guy to shop for these kind of things, because many of the "good-ol' boys" still don't believe in talking to gals unless it's for sinful purposes. We looked it over, started it up (with a screwdriver) and took it for a short test drive, while the owner was listening to an old fart who was haggling about the price. We waited until the old fart ran out of wind, and when the seller asked us if we had any questions, I smiled and asked if he had change for a hundred. The old fart stormed off and a few minutes later I was driving the beast home.
The beast was used daily until about the middle of 2000; my mother proclaimed the beast unworthy as a family vehicle and purchased a '92 F150 Supercab 4x4 for me. The beast was sent to my sister's farm to haul wood and turn to rust.
A few months ago, my brother in law was looking at a car that a friend had given me and offered to buy it for the motor. I told him that if he brought my beast back, he could have the car. A week later, the beast was unloaded in my yard.
The poor thing had 3 flat tires, no exhaust system, and the bed was rusted away, but I put fresh gas and a battery in it and it fired right up. My son and I worked on it; we removed the bed and replaced it with a flatbed. Rewired the tail lights. He welded a receiver hitch on the back, and we reworked the exhaust (in true redneck fashion) into dual straight stacks. Then we finished the exterior with a little touch up paint and a toolbox bolted to the bed for storage. We originally were trying to create "the ugliest truck in the county" but we actually found one that would outdo this one. One thing is certain: this is a true butch ride.
It still needs some work on the interior, but it is insured, tagged and roaring down the road.