Saturday, July 11, 2009

Stripping for the Summer

A few weeks ago, I mentioned on Facebook that I was spending the summer as a stripper, which got a few people excited. I wish I could live up to those expectations, but I can't. You might catch me in a strip club (if there was one in 100 miles) but it certainly wouldn't be on the stage. Folks would pay to keep me OFF the stage. Seriously. Unless it's to get a lot of laughs.
I have never been the cute petite type. Ever. When I was born, I weighed over 9 pounds, and stayed on the stout side ever since. In high school, I was described as being built like a brick shit house. That holds true today. I will confess that I am 1.75m. tall and weigh roughly 100kg. Not the type of gal you want to see shaking booty in public.

No, the stripping I am doing is on the floors of the middle school. My team is scheduled to strip and wax around 50,000 square foot of flooring before August 1st. It is not an easy job. It involves commercial equipment that will kick your ass and smelly chemicals. At the same time that we're working, the HVAC people are doing gas tests and annual maintenance on their equipment so we have no air conditioning. So I drink a lot of fluids. Every 2 hours while working, I drink two 20 ounce bottles of water and a quart of Gatorade. When on break or lunch I'll have an iced tea or a soda, and after work I drink whatever I feel like. In an average summer day, I will drink over 3 gallons of water and other drinks. That might seem like a lot, but with all the factors figured in, it is adequate. Last year I was drinking about a gallon a day, yet I found out what happens when a person doesn't drink enough; it was quite unpleasant and involved my only non childbirth overnight hospital stay. Not anything I want to do again.

The process is simple enough. Mix the stripper chemical on a 4:1 ratio in a bucket with water, then use an old mop to slop it on the floor. Sit around for 10-15 minutes drinking water while the chemical turns to a slicker than snot slime, then run the ass kicking scrubber through the slime until it makes a big foamy mess, making sure not to step on the slime. If you step on the slime, you WILL fall and bust your ass (and possibly other parts as well) and spend the rest of your day filling out worker's comp forms. Once you have all the slime converted to foam, we use the commercial vacuum cleaner to suck it up. After all the foam is gone, then the floor is mopped with plain water three times. Why three times? Because that's what the head supervisor says. When the floor is clean and dry, we run the ass kicking scrubber with a dry pad over the area to pick up anything we might have missed and smooth the surface. We then run a dust mop to clean the dust and it is ready for sealing. sealer and wax is applied with a mop. Two coats of sealer, followed by two coats of wax, with about two hours of drying time between layers. 12 hours after the final coat, we run the ass kicking buffer with a burnishing pad over everything to bring out that beautiful shine that will be ruined by the end of the first week of school.